


Insecurity

by IcyPheonix



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Ace Yuri, Asexual Character, College AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 07:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11459055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyPheonix/pseuds/IcyPheonix
Summary: After dating for a short while, Shun learns Yuri is sensitive to certain kinds of intimacy and why.For Arc V Rare Pair Week





	Insecurity

**Author's Note:**

> For day 2 of the Arc V Rare Pair Week. Prompt "Sensitive"
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah I skipped day 1.
> 
> Set in the same 'verse as [you could do better](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11088759/chapters/24736398), though no knowledge of the first fic is needed aside from ShunYuri College Au. Takes place sometime after the events of that fic.

Dating Yuri was an interesting thing to say the least, and it quickly became apparent to Shun that he had a few, quirks, to watch out for.

 

The first incident happened when Shun playfully wrapped his arms around Yuri from behind. He expected a startled yelp, that was the sort of reaction Yuto or Ruri gave when he snuck up on them.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Yuri to nearly scream bloody murder and deck him in the face as he wrenched himself from his arms. Upon realizing whom he’d hit, Yuri apologized immediately; he hadn’t meant it and hadn’t realized that it was Shun behind him. When Shun tried to apologize, after all he was the one who had snuck up on him, Yuri shook his head and mumbled a ‘it’s not your fault’.

Shun didn’t try hugging him from behind like that any more, not if he was going to react like that.

 

The second incident happened while they were in the midst of a sort of fight. Shun wasn’t sure which one had started it, but Yuri was trying desperately to tickle him while nearly seated in his lap, while Shun tried to defend against his deft fingers.

In an attempt to fend off the barrage of tickles, Shun caught Yuri’s wrists in his hands, the momentum knocking Yuri onto his back, wrists pinned down.

“Ha, I got you now, just try it and…” he trailed off as he looked down at Yuri, who was staring up at him as if he’d seen a ghost. He’d gone strangely quiet and trembled as he looked up at Shun.

“Yuri?”

“Please, let go,” he squeaked out in a soft voice, his breath hitching in his throat. “Please.”

Shun let go of him as if he’d been burned, quickly helping Yuri back up. “Ah I’m sorry, I guess I got over excited there. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” mumbled Yuri, averting his gaze from Shun’s. “Just don’t do that again, please.”

It was unusual, thought Shun, Yuri had never had a problem before with Shun doing things like that, usually when they were getting intimate and Shun had hold of his hands, so why such a reaction now?

He didn’t push the issue, it was clear it bothered Yuri a lot and it wasn’t Shun’s place to pry.

 

The third incident occurred while they were getting intimate, entwined in each others arms. Yuri’s arms were wound around Shun’s neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair as he kissed him.

They were supposed to be working on homework, but Yuri had decided he had other ideas, making it his mission to distract Shun from his work (and hopefully freak out Yuto whom he knew was in the room adjacent and also trying to work).

It worked and soon enough Shun’s hands found themselves roaming along Yuri’s body while his lips stole kisses off Yuri’s.

Yuri shivered and leaned into Shun’s touch; seemingly content to let Shun’s hands go wherever they pleased. At least until one of Shun’s hands made its way to the underside of his thigh and Yuri froze.

Shun wasn’t sure why Yuri had stopped playfully nibbling at his lips, his grip tightening on his shoulders.

“Yuri?” Pulling back he looked down at Yuri and frowned. His eyes were clenched shut and his breathing had gone short.

“Could you, remove your hand, please?” he asked, hands shaking as he clung to Shun.

“My…hand?”

He nodded dumbly, “The one on my thigh.”

“Oh-oh ok. Right.” Quickly he removed his hand, moving it to Yuri’s hip instead. “Um, is that better?’

Yuri nodded.

“Are you ok?”

Yuri shook his head, “Give me a moment, please?”

“Sure.”

Slowly, Yuri relaxed his grip on Shun, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself. He was tense Shun noticed, more tense than he’d ever been and Shun had no idea what to do. The mood was effectively spoiled and they spent the next little while simply lying there, Yuri leaning against Shun quietly.

“Do you, want to talk about it?” asked Shun.

Yuri shook his head again, “No.”

“Alight, but you know, if you ever want to talk, I’m all ears.”

Yuri closed his eyes, pressing his head into Shun’s chest, “Yeah, I know.”

 

Yuri sighed as he fell back onto his bed, cell phone in hand. Navigating a relationship was hard work, especially with Shun now being extra cautious around him lest he do something to set him off and freak him out.

He swiped the screen on, returning to the string of texts between him and Yuya.

 

>Yuya?

_Yeah? <_

>Do you think I should tell him?

_About? <_

>About what happened to me in highschool

>Should I tell Shun?

_Do you want to? <_

>I don’t know.

>I’m scared of doing it.

_Yuri, you like him right? <_

>No shit.

_And you want this to work? <_

>Of course.

>And that’s why I’m afraid.

>I want to tell him, b/c he’s treading eggshells around me without knowing why.

>And that’s not fair.

>But I’m worried about how he’ll react.

_I think if he really cares and wants it to work too, the he’ll accept this. < _

_I can’t force you to tell him, but I think you should. <_

 

Yuri closed his eyes, dropping his arm against his forehead, Yuya was right. With how things had been going it was only a matter of time before Shun, unintentionally, set him into a full blown panic attack. He’d already come close when Shun had pinned his arms over his head. And he really didn’t want to do that to Shun; it wasn’t fair.

But the idea of telling him, of divulging that part of his past, it terrified him.

“ _But how do I tell him?_ ”

 

“Shun, can we talk?”

“Should I be worried?” asked Shun, lifting his head to look over his shoulder at Yuri, who was leaning against his back. “I mean, we talk all the time, so the fact that you’re asking…”

“It’s nothing bad. At least not what you’re thinking,” said Yuri, still looking at his hands. “It’s just, there’s something I need-something I want to tell you. It’s about why I’ve been, acting the way I was.”

“The freaking out?”

Yuri nodded. “You deserve to know why. You said if I wanted to talk to you I could. And I want to talk.”

He shifted around on the bed and leaned against Shun’s back, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“Can you hear me out, till the end?”

“Of course.”

Yuri took a deep breath, shuddering as he held onto Shun.

“It happened back in highschool. Yuya and I, we got invited to some grad party or something, even though we still had a year before graduation. I don’t know why, ‘snot like we were anything special. But we were and we went.”

“You went to a party?”

“Yes, now let me finish,” said Yuri. “It was fine at first, a little loud for my taste but, I don’t get invited to parties so I tried to enjoy it. I wanted to enjoy it; maybe for once people would stop seeing me as some nerdy loser and maybe I could be, cool.” Yuri sighed, “I had, more to drink than I should have. I know I was underage but I didn’t care, I thought they might think I was cool or something. And it seemed like it was working, I hit it off with this guy and we started flirting. It was fun at first and we, might have gotten slightly physical.”

He tightened his grip on Shun before continuing. “At one point we slipped away for somewhere quieter, somewhere more private. The flirting was fine, and I didn’t mind letting him touch me and kiss me, but then, he wanted more, and I didn’t. He called me a tease, accused me of leading him on. And he wouldn’t let me leave.”

He closed his eyes as tears clouded his vision. “He trapped me and started getting his hands in places I didn’t want them. Said it was foreplay before the main event. I wanted to fight back, should have fought back, but I was too scared, I thought if I fought he’d hurt me even worse, so I just let him do what he wanted.”

Yuri made a noise like a strangled sob, shaking as he held onto Shun.

“Yuri…” Shun curled his hand around Yuri’s gently, squeezing it softly.

“I only remember bits and pieces of what happened. My therapist said it’s probably a repressed memory, that I dissociated hard enough to block it out. I-he dragged me off to a bedroom, said something about having ‘fun’ and that I would enjoy it.” He shuddered, voice cracking as he spoke. “I don’t know, I don’t know what he did to me because I can’t remember. I’m not even sure I want to remember. I just remember hurting all over.”

Shun’s stomach twisted uncomfortably as he listened to the story, as Yuri held onto him and sobbed. He wanted to turn around and hold him, to pull him close, but Yuri’s grip was too tight to let him.

“God Yuri I-that’s horrible. I’m so sorry. And I went and made you uncomfortable too, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. The only people that even know about this are Yuya and my therapist. And now you.”

“Still.”

Yuri shuddered and loosened his grip slightly before continuing. “Yuya’s the one who found me. He said he hadn’t seen me for over an hour and was worried. I practically begged him to take me home. I was so scared. I’ve never been that scared before. I didn’t want to tell him at first, I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“How did he find out?” asked Shun, shifting around slightly.

“After we got home I hid in the shower for almost two hours, Yuya thought I was trying to drown myself and he had to pull me out. I broke down and told him after that.”

Shun shifted around, pulling Yuri to his chest.

“I can’t even begin to imagine…No one should have to go through that.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Yuri’s head, “As long as I’m around, I won’t let anyone lay their hands on you like that again.”

“You still want to be with me?” asked Yuri. “Even after, knowing that?”

Shun frowned, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I thought…I was worried that when you found out what happened to me you would think I was dirty and that you wouldn’t want me anymore. And I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’d never leave you over something like that,” he said, rubbing Yuri’s back with one hand. “I promise. And I certainly don’t think that about you.”

Yuri managed a weak smile, nuzzling against Shun and he curled close. Shun’s touch was gentle and he felt safe with him.

“Ah hell, now my glasses are a mess,” laughed Yuri, pulling away slightly as he took his glasses off to look at them, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Should have taken them off first, now they’re all teary.”

“Feeling better?” asked Shun.

Yuri nodded, setting his glasses aside, “It feels good to get that off my chest. I just, wish I didn’t have to burden you with it, and that you didn’t have to see me like this, I’m such a mess.”

“It’s not a burden. And…I’m glad you felt you could trust me enough to tell me this.”

“Shun, I’ve always trusted you, even when I didn’t like you that much, I still trusted you. So go ahead and ask.”

“Ask?”

Yuri nodded, “I know you have questions, so go ahead and ask. I can probably answer them now.”

Shun rubbed the back of his neck, “Are you sure, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Shun, I’m giving you permission to ask.”

Shun sighed, “Well, I’m guessing, since only handful of people know, that he, got away with it?”

Yuri nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. “I know I should have said something but, I was scared and ashamed. And I didn’t think anyone would believe me. It had no poof so it would have been my word against his, and no one would believe someone like me over the captain of the basketball team.”

“Well, if I ever meet him I’ll make sure he pays.”

“I’d rather you not get arrested though,” said Yuri.

“Can’t prove anything if there’s no body to find,” he said with a wink.

“You are horrible!” sputtered Yuri before adding, “Just make sure to include me so I can help. Might be therapeutic.”

“And you said I’m terrible.”

“You’re supposed to be the nice one,” said Yuri, tapping his nose.

“Says who?”

“Me, obviously.”

“So, a therapist huh?”

“Yeah. I thought I could deal with things but I couldn’t, not well at least,” said Yuri, rubbing his arms, having dug his nails into the skin of his arms earlier. “And it’s, hard to keep pretending you’re ok when your twin finds you mopping up blood in the bathroom and freaks out and tells your mom.” He sighed, “That was a mess of a time. Especially trying to convince everyone that I wasn’t suicidal. I just wanted a different pain to focus on, to distract me.” He turned his arms over and reached for one of Shun’s hands, gently guiding his fingers over faint, pale marks ha marred his upper arms. “They’re better now, you can barely see them. I’m managing it.”

“What’s your therapist like?”

Yuri shrugged, “He’s nice I guess, he listens, but that’s his job. He’s the one that suggested the plants to me, as a way to channel my, impulses. Yuya says you can tell my moods by the state of my plants.”

“Oh?”

“He says when I start pruning them a lot he’s knows something’s wrong. Though I suppose it’s telling that they still trust me with sharp objects. I wouldn’t trust me with sharp things when hitting my lows.” He let himself fall against Shun with a sigh. “I just wish my brain wasn’t all screwy like this. I like being intimate with you; I _want_ to be intimate with you. I want to be able to let you put your hands on me and hold me without worrying about accidentally setting me off.” He closed his eyes with a sigh, “I want this; I want _us_ , to work.”

“Me too,” said Shun, wrapping his arms around Yuri gently.

“Shun, could I stay here tonight?” asked Yuri after a moment. “With you. I mean.”

“Well I didn’t think you meant Yuto,” he laughed. “Of course but why?”

“Dennis is gone for the weekend, visiting his folks or something, and I, don’t want to be alone right now,” said Yuri. “I know it’s silly but something about digging my past up like this…I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“I don’t think Yuto will mind.”

“Well tough if he does. Besides I’m not staying with him.”

 

Yuto looked Yuri up and down, the latter standing in the doorway to the dorm room, a bag slung over his shoulder. “Well, are you going to let me in or just stand there? I’m pretty sure Shun’s waiting for me.”

“Shun your boyfriend’s here, again,” he called over his shoulder before looking back at Yuri. “Whatever you two plan on getting up to, please keep it down.”

“You know, just for that, I’m tempted to make out with him right in front of you.”

“Spare me.”

“Yuri please don’t tease my roommate, or he’ll make sure I catch him making out with my sister,” said Shun. “And I really don’t want to see that.”

Yuri looked back at Yuto and then at Shun, “He’s dating Ruri?”

“Since highschool.” He hooked an arm around Yuri, “Now please stop teasing my roommate. And you,” he looked over at Yuto, “Stop teasing him. Geeze, I can’t even leave you two alone for five minutes.”

 

“Something wrong?” asked Shun.

It had finally gotten late enough that they’d decided to crawl into bed and Yuri was somewhat hesitant.

“No, it just suddenly occurred to me that I’m actually sharing a bed with someone,” said Yuri, rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m not having you sleep on the couch. It’ll be snug but we can both fit.”

“I know it’s just, the last time I slept in the same bed as someone was when Yuya and I were little,” he said sitting down on the edge. “I hope you don’t wiggle as much as he does. He kicked me out of bed once.”

Shun laughed, “I think you’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” he said, sidling closer, “It’s no fun waking up on the floor.”

“Just don’t kick me out of bed either,” laughed Shun.

Yuri nuzzled the crook of his neck, “I won’t.” He tilted his head up, kissing the edge of Shun’s jaw, “Shun…”

“Hmm?”

“Kiss me.”

“Now?”

“No, tomorrow,” said Yuri, rolling his eyes. “Yes now.” His hands snaked up along the side of Shun’s head, guiding his mouth down to his lips.  
Shun complied, leaning down to slot their lips together and winding his arms around Yuri’s middle as he pulled him to his chest.

Yuri closed his eyes as his arms wound around the back of his neck. “Shun,” he murmured against his lips, “Will you help me work through this?” he asked. “I don’t want what that bastard did to me to control my life any more. But I don’t know if I can do this without your help.”

Shun smiled, leaning his forehead against Yuri’s. “Of course, I’ll help you with what ever you need.”

Yuri sighed into the crook of his neck before adjusting his position and pulling Shun down so he could lie in his arms, using his free hand to pull the covers up and around them.

“Then hold me, please,” he said, reaching to pull Shun’s arms around him. As long as it was Shun he would be fine he reminded himself as he snuggled against Shun’s chest. And he wasn’t going to let anything change that.


End file.
